Up Until Now.......

I really didn't get it. IT being the Craving/desire/need to lose weight. Over the last 20 yrs. I have had ups and downs with weight and motivation. There have been various attempts at "eating right", "eating better", pills, shakes, bars, Weight Watchers, Low Carb diets, even "this is not a diet but I new way to eat"....ok, sorry but it's a diet! Anyone with me?? Mixed in there I did join gyms and attempt to exercise, knowing I definitely needed to get that heart rate up. None of these became a habit or something I really looked forward with anticipation. Before kids (I am not blaming them but any means). I used to run miles a day and love it. My goal was to someday run in a 10K. But with every pound, demand, event...I saw myself farther from the goal and eventually gave up. My time for that dream has passed. You're a mom now they have to be first. Eight years ago, I started struggling with a lot of pain and unexplained symptoms. I went from Doctor to doctor, test after test till they gave up and labeled it Fibromyalgia/TMJ/Gastorparesis with standard answer to my "What now?" question "You deal with the symptoms and if you lose weight you would feel so much better." I felt I was losing more and more of life's enjoyments, kids, fun, friends. And? I tried yet again to "get healthy". And again~Fail. See a pattern here? Are you familiar with the same patterns? As new symptoms arose and others were getting worse God lead us to another specialist...one who was willing to think outside the box for, not only testing, but treatments. I will never forget that day. After he looked through all the paperwork, and tests results he looked at me so sincerely and said, "I am so sorry for all you have been through. This is just wrong and this (pointing to the stacks of test results etc.) all is going to stop right here. We are going to find out what is wrong and start a treatment plan as soon as possible." I cried. I was so grateful and ready, not even scared at this point...just relief! So began the tests and the wait and the news...I have Chronic Lyme Disease. Wow! Again, I was rejoicing!! I HAD A DISEASE AND I AM NOT CRAZY!!! Treatment started right away and was another roller coaster in itself. The lyme really settled into my gastral track and explained the Gastroparsis. For a year now the meds were killing the lyme and getting rid of toxins but with that beating my body up in the process. Even though I wasn't holding food down I was gaining weight from meds and still felt so removed from my real life....what I was meant to be doing. Or was I? For a time I was to be still, pray, listen, cling to Him, serve my family, pray for others, and let them serve me, and most of all learn and soak in all that He is and wanted me to be in this place in my life. Another roller coaster! Scaring and thrilling, bumpy and moments of calm and screaming my head off. But to God be the Glory...He is healing me and my heart. He has given be countless opportunities to tell others of His grace and love. He connected me with people on Facebook that I would have never had the chance if I was not in bed. Some blessed to see pray for people and see wonderful answers and His grace and tenderness though the answers that were hard to face. So now what? Well, PTL for the Great healer that He is and that He loves me like a daughter! The Dr. says that the meds are working and I may be able to stay on this regiment till I am better!! Second I was cleared to "exercise as I see fit" !! Woohoo!!!!! Again tears! To me that meant losing weight finally. How? Only He knows but I really think He started the journey months ago to this point. With all that being said, we are at present day.... The blog is meant to share this new journey of total wellness. What He is showing me, recipes, products, music, Making changes and digging deeper into the why and the heart issues of it all that is what I was missing all these years! Some things I have been doing the last two weeks: • Continued to juice with my Nutribullet 1-2 times a day • Bought myself some good sneakers and pedometer • Started Couch 2 5k • cancelled Weight watchers online (more on that later) • the biggest one: Reading Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and her companion 60 day devotional. This has been what has been pivotal in changing how I think about food, people, diets, exercise. I am excited at what the Lord has in store, excited to crave more of Him and less of me and food....hopefully you will follow along, be encouraged and maybe even start a journey of your own.